i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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