so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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