i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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