i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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