would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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