yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
