At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
