She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
