Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
