Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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