her vagine was all disorganized.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
