what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
