What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
