I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
