just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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