We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
