the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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