Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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