She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
