Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
