i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
