Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize