it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
