doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
