i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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