Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
