Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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