so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
