Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
