they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
