And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
