dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
