help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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