Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
