I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You pole danced in your parka.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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