I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
