Umm I'm too high to move.
I love black thongs
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize