Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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