i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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