You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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