no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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