See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
