Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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