He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
