Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
