What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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