New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
