Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
