At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We are all done wearing pants today
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
