Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
