Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
