you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My vagina is officially offended.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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