by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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