no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
