What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
