I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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