The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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