dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize