i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So squirting runs in the family.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
