i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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