So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
